Sitting in our quaint little study space, my fabulous group leader asked a question that sent us girls into a deep thinking silence. One question, honestly, I’ve never even thought about. But a question I struggle with daily, nonetheless.
“If you could ask Jesus for anything, what would it be?”
Suddenly, the thought “a ton of kids” jumped across my mind but immediately was turned away because I realized that the “almost-wife-then-mommy” mindset is already growing on me. But seriously. What would I ask for? Neither of us could answer. Then it really hit me.
“First of all, I would want to know what my real purpose in this life is. The specific one made for me and no one else…” realizing that is what I have always wondered. Don’t you?
God knit me together in my mother’s womb and wrote out all the days of my life for a reason, I know it!
What does that story sound like? Am I really living the life God planned for me, 20 or more years ago?
In my little faith, my thoughts let it go and moved onto the lesson. I’ve received many answers to this question before so I just assumed it was something I likely would never completely figure out.
“your life will just turn out the way it should be”
“do what you love to do”
“follow your heart”
“simply do the right thing as much as you can”
Sure, some of those could be true. But it never was a big, glittering billboard that said, “Katie, this is your destiny…” like I wanted!
Most of the time, that’s just not how God works. His voice is more of a whisper than a shout, but when He speaks, YOU know it and it is earth trembling.
During my quiet time the next morning, after reading the account of Jesus’ death, I came across a blog post by Beth Moore. Without hesitation or thinking, I clicked and read.
Whoa, talk about an answer. The spontaneous yet God-ordained blog post was Beth sharing what was on her heart just the night before.
“When you are teeming with love for the Lord your God, who are you right then? What is your passion? What is it that you are bursting to do? That’s probably the stream of your calling.”
“Serving,” I thought immediately, “being in the background serving my little heart out. Serving in the local church teaching young girls biblical truths. Serving my man, doing laundry or washing dishes. That is when my heart is happy, happy.”
I felt the Holy Spirit tugging on my heart, silently screaming, “Helloooooo! We gave you a servant’s heart. It’s not about what job you’re working at, what you’re wearing, or how well you are at any activity. You know you are willing to serve at any time, any where. You feel like that for a reason. And that reason is why God made you. Get up and go serve. Lose your life to save your life.”
Talk about a wake up call. It’s called a two-by-four and that’s usually what God uses when you’re not listening.
Thank God for His grace. And His answers. Right when they are most needed.
I have learned that God gives us small pieces of the road map at a time instead of letting us take a peek at the entire map so that we can truly live by faith. Not that He enjoys keeping things from Him but because it’s what’s best for us, what we can handle at the time. Meeting Joe, my current fiancé, whom I know God made me to marry, encourage, and live life with, was undeniably what God had in store for me all along. And now that we are starting a new chapter in our lives, with new and exciting uncharted, unknown territory just waiting to be crossed, the thoughts floods back,
“Where? How? When? What?!”
As I am waiting for the next word from my Father, I now have peace that no matter what I’m doing, as long as I go into it with a servant’s heart and a focus to glorify God, I will never have to worry.
I’m right where God wants me to be! No matter where He takes us, we can rest assured that He has gone before us and He will never forsake us.
“Ask Him (God) to give you a love for Him that surpasses anything in your human experience. A supernatural capacity. And ask Him for it every day until He does it and then ask Him to do it some more. If you’re a writer, your exploding love for Him will bring it out. If you’re a liberator, you will not be able to keep yourself from seeing to the oppressed. If you’re a teacher, you won’t be able to quit studying except to share what you learned with somebody. If you love Him with your whole heart and that whole heart bursts to sell everything and move to China, Girl, get your passport!” -Beth Moore.
What do you look like & what do you do when you love Jesus with everything you have? That’s the YOU God made you to be!!!!
Song of the Day: Do Everything by Steven Curtis Chapman
Verse of the Day: Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people”