Confessions of a Newly Wed…
I hope you all enjoyed what I did with the title. “Sub”mission Impossible. Like Tom Cruise. Totally cheesy yet clever..maybe.
Today, I have something a little personal to share. This is definitely a confession of a newlywed. A learning experience for me. It has to do with the lovely topic of submission.
Which I totally failed at yesterday.
Sunday night during break outs at small group when it was just the ladies together, I remember mentioning that true submission is hard. A few mornings ago, I had Chai Lattes with my lovely friend and SmallGroup leader, Sally. Again, the topic of submission was brought up and we both shared on how we are struggling and have succeeded and everything in-between.
Before marrying my best friend, as we were in the latter phase of our dating relationship and going into our engagement, I began studying and praying about what submission truly is. I probably read about 6 books and practically memorized Ephesians 5. I wanted to be the perfect wife. I thought, “Submission.. Pshh, I got this in the bag. I’m no big time feminist and I like to follow Joe’s lead so I know I can master this art that other women seem to be so skittish about…”
Well, that probably lasted about 24 hours.
I am learning that true submission means supporting your husband not only when you are on board with his decision, but even when you don’t agree with him. It’s when I am willing to lay aside my own opinions to follow his lead, his conviction, his guiding, his footsteps.
You can’t learn submission from a book. You can pray for your heart to be more submissive but I believe and what I am learning is that you become submissive by actively “doing”. Choosing his ways over your own. Not just saying it but truly meaning in your heart that you will be supportive of your husband no matter what.
True submission to your husband also comes from a heart that is already submitted to Christ completely.
That lady may have had it right when she sang “Stand by your man” 😉
Wives, respect your husband by resisting the temptation to roll your eyes at him (guilty!!!)
Submit to his leadership when he wants to do the right thing but oh, you want so badly to tell that person how it is or do what you want.
Respect your husband by encouraging him instead of nagging at him for not putting up his dirty dishes. Again, I am guilty but thank God for His grace!
I believe grace has a huge part in true submission as well. Just last night, after my husband did something that I felt was hurtful (yet I blew it out of proportion), I said hurtful words, rolled my eyes, stomped off, slammed the doors, and gave him the cold shoulder. Wife of the year award, right here, ladies.
The truth is, if I had given him grace for this misunderstanding, we could of spent the night loving on each other instead of me huffing and puffing for two hours after bed. Such a diva at times.
God gives me grace more than 500 times a day I believe. Can’t I extend a handful of grace once for my husband whom I love dearly? That’s submission. Saying yes to him and no to yourself. Even when you just do not want to. Plain and simple.
Something that I am learning. Day in and day out. But it’s a beautiful journey following your husband’s lead because it is a God-glorifying act when we lay aside our pride and stand by our man.
I challenge you today, wives and wives-to-be, let your husband know how much you love and respect him and chose to be on his side when that argument pops up and you really just want to be on your own side.
It’s a learning process! Grace, grace, grace!
Love you all!