Month Five. Stayin’ Alive. Lessons of Marriage


We are what you call “Newlyweds”, my husband and I.

We are half way through with Month FIVE, sadly enough. Don’t get me wrong now; it’s sad because time has flown by. I wish that I could hit the pause button for about fifty years. Before we skip on into month SIX, I want to slow down and track some of our progress and share with you what the Lord has been teaching us.

We are still learning the definition of marriage. It is beautiful and messy all in one. My favorite moments are the early Saturday mornings when I can sneak out of bed and cook my husband breakfast because he never gets to sleep in during the week. Another favorite is a constant. He is constantly loving on me. I wouldn’t have it any other way. On the other hand, there are times when we are arguing about something that I said wrong or because he wants to be right. It may sound silly but I particularly love those moments (most of the time) because each time we experience a little discord, the Holy Spirit moves in our hearts and we quickly apologize, cut down our pride, kiss and make up. I love how God works. I love that our Father cares enough about us that even in the little things, He even helps us sort it out.

We cannot “do” marriage without Jesus right in the middle, holding us together 




of the way.

Every day that I try to be a “good” wife on my own, I crash and burn pretty quickly. Jesus, the provider and Prince of peace, sustains me and uses me when I daily, hourly, and constantly lay down my will to His. My will is selfish, prideful, and a bit harsh at times. I need His will, which is pure love, compassionate, and selfless.

Selflessness is required in a thriving God-honoring marriage.

A couple weeks ago while in our hometown, I was able to get together with a few of my favorite girlfriends over some hot tea and coffee. One of my ladies, Katy, is getting married in just a few short months. While discussing wedding colors, future adventures, and the like, I shared with her the one thing that I have learned and am still learning to live out: selflessness. Christ displays the uttermost perfect sense of this word. He is selfless. He is love. There is not one iota of selfishness in Him. The more that I spend time with Him, get to truly KNOW His heart and His essence, His character starts to shape my own. It is only through the Lord, Jesus, that I am able to be selfless. When I focus on ME instead of my husband, I am living selfishly. When I choose my ways over his, I am living selfishly. When I reject his convictions and live how I think is right, I am living selfishly. But, I don’t have to live that way. I am no longer under the curse of sin. I can live a selfless life through Jesus. I can proudly choose my husband’s desires over my own through Jesus. I can lovingly accept his heart and move my fleshly desires out of the way through Jesus.  I can joyfully wake up early every morning and serve my husband breakfast before work because of the work JESUS has done in me. It’s not about me. It’s about HIM.

 This marriage is not about  us.

Joe and I fell in love and got married but it doesn’t stop there. Marriage was created by God and for God. This marriage just like this life, is more than just us. God created marriage to reflect the relationship between Jesus and his beloved, the church. (That’s you and me and every other Christian on planet earth!) Jesus died for the church. That’s the way a husband is supposed to live for his wife. Willing to die to himself for her. {Ephesians 5:25} Selflessness. The church is all about Jesus. That’s the way a wife is to be towards her husband. Willing to lay down her rights and serve her husband in love and humbleness. Selflessness. You see, there is something going on in our marriage that is more than just being in love. It’s a supernatural plan. It’s God working through our marriage and in our marriage for one reason: To bring Glory and praise and fame to HIM! The King and Savior who deserves all praise! My prayer and deepest desire is for my husband and I to live intentionally in this truth. It’s not about me and it’s not about him and surprisingly, it’s not about the kids that we will hopefully one day be able to bring into this world.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” Ephesians 5:22.23

It’s simply about the extraordinary Savior who loves His people more than anything. His children and the ones who have yet to call Him Lord.

That’s our purpose: to live to glorify Him. That’s what I am still learning to live out… how to live and breathe and be apart of another’s life in such a God-glorifying way.

That’s what we’re learning and I am praying for 100 more years of learning and growing and knowing my Master.



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